5 Tips When Aging Mom & Dad Refuse your Advice

There comes a point in everyone’s life when the roles reverse. Once upon a time you’re given advise by your parents. But, once they age and are not able to manage things on their own, you need to stand by them and provide the best suggestions. In many cases, parents refuse your help and advice. The reasons can be many but such a situation is tough to handle. “A research by Penn State University, the Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine and the New Jersey Institute for Successful Aging indicates 77% of adult children feel that their parents are stubborn in taking their advice”. If you are sailing in the same boat, then here are 5 tips that can come to your rescue in dealing with aging parents and making things easier for you.

#1. Stay Calm & Have Patience:

When your aging parents keep refusing your advice all the time, don’t get upset or angry. Staying calm and being patient can work quite well in such situations. You will need to understand that as adults you need to respect them and give them their due. By keeping patience, you will be able to break the ice with them and reach at a conclusion. While if you lose your calm the situation can blow out of proportion and it will be like closing doors for future conversations, as well.

#2. Appeal their Conscience:

We often end up doing things for others. This is true of parents and grandparents. If you want to ensure your dad doesn’t skip the doctor’s appointment, then request him to do it for you. Come up with reasons like “how will you play with your grandson if you miss your orthopedics appointment every time?” They will give in for their children and grandchildren. Sometimes appealing one’s conscience can help you reach at a conclusion, quickly and easily. If it is for a habit of smoking, then appeal to them in a different manner. Like, passive smoking is injurious for the grandchildren. They may end up reducing it immediately for the sake of little ones. Try such ways to persuade your parents.

#3. Time your Talks & Ration Out Concerns:

Your aging parents will not be in the best mood all the time. So, when you need to talk to your parents regarding any change or concern, ensure that the timing is right. If they are already anxious about their medical reports or feeling low due to some health issue convincing them for any change will not be apt. Moreover, you should ration out changes and suggestions, which you need to discuss with them. Making multiple changes in one’s lifestyle at that age is not convenient. Prioritize and discuss only important issues and concerns like health and safety among others.

#4. Discuss, Seek Help & Vent:

Of course, you will also have many things happening in your life. Along with your aging parent’s responsibility, you may be having work pressure, kids to manage and more. So, if your parents are being stubborn, discuss with other family members or seek advice of friends who may be taking care of aging parents and dealing with similar situations. Most importantly breathe and vent it in front of a close one but, not your parents. In front of them you need to be calm and composed trying to find out a conducive solution at all times.

#5. Be Sensitive:

When dealing with aging elderly, you will need to be sensitive to them as they are dealing with various health issues, physical constraints and memory challenges. Instead of imposing things on them, try to be persuasive. Like, if you feel they are not able to manage things on their own, suggest them home care assistance. Try convincing them by expressing that you are concerned about their staying alone and managing all housework on their own. If this doesn’t work, then try a pampering tone. You will have to tread cautiously while walking on this path.


So, when it comes to dealing with your elderly, treat them like adults and not children. Some persuasion, right timing and being sensitive with them will do wonders. At times, just spending some time and hearing out each other can help you take decisions. To make things easier for you and your parents, seek help in the form of a caregiver. Someone who can spend time with your parents, while you are at work can be a relief for you and company for your elderly. If you have been able to convince your parents and are looking for the best in homecare services, then reach out to Complete Home Care. There are various services for your aging senior and you can choose as per the requirement. We offer elder care in Philadelphia, Harrisburg  and Narberth. Our team has true professionals, who will take care of your parents, while being a good company to them. You can connect with us here and let’s help your parents together for the better.

If you have deployed some other effective means of convincing and advising your parents, then please share in the comments below and let others also benefit.

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